the sound of mike

Many months ago I asked Goddess to send me someone whom I could learn with and from..a real person instead of words in a book to further my lust for all Life has to offer. 

And so a fine looking fellow came across my Plenty of Fish troll and I took the bait.
I was wary at first...but drawn to this engaging, honest, authentic, comical and sexual energy wrapped in honor and respect of a man...
I let go of all fear and trepedation and plunged in joyfully.

She responded to my request of course in the form of Love.
A love so deep, so intimate, so unwaivingly giving that I was knocked on my ass with it's brilliance and purety.
And I was split open
left breathless and wordless
shuddering and giggling
absolutely shaken of everything I thought I knew. 
I embraced parts of myself that I felt shame for too many years...
and learned that I could be loved as I truly am. 

"it's what I do."

He was a perfect gift from Her.

Many months later, I sit aching for his presence back in my life.
He taught me that words mean nothing without action, that self-love comes from within, to accept was healthier than to deny....
and laying down of useless burdens was the key to living.

That joie de vivre can be had at any fucking time, just choose it already!
(i'm still learning this one).

He gave me many pearls...
He loved me beyond love of myself. 
And I held the depth of his love against self-hatred, guilt and shame and self-destruction.

That repeated act lacerated us beyond repair. 

So, to She that is wiser...thank you for pushing me forward to get this lesson, really. 
But the price was too high (just in case my opinion matters in the bigger scheme of things.)

To Mike, on his birthday...thank you for your love and wisdom...
I know you want nothing more than for me to see my own beauty...
You opened my eyes up to me
and gave me a glimpse of what it feels like to be loved in it's most blessed form.