I touched the awakening grass the other day with my awakening foot (the one that I broke in February).
I cried tears of sorrow for myself (aka pity party)
and I cried tears of deep gratitude for being able to hobble outside to even do so.
I caressed young buds, replanted some upturned tulip bulbs (thank you squirrels for that gift)
and i sat and inhaled my renewing view with renewed hope that I'll heal, that I'll hike without fear of breaking more bones or of my little one breaking anything..
I've sat for months looking out the window with such longing, such sadness...such hollowness inside of me
missing, so missing Life at it walked.drove, ran, made snow forts and continued about it's business without me. It hurt deeper than any pain I've ever experienced.
And I felt such thankfulness when I thought about the reason this happened, for surely there's a reason why my life was halted so that I could just sit, and lay, and sit again...all the while loads of energy focused to my broken bones and severed nerves.
Now...I begin to walk without crutches or cast or airboot. I walk slowly and awkwardly...but I walk nonetheless. My bones and ligaments scream as they are stretched and manipulated back into place...and at the same time rejoice "we're free!!" "when can we drive?" "when can we rollerblade?"
Rejuvenation, re-nurturing, rebirth...me and Spring. Now what the hell is my re-purpose??
Oh! :( I've had other friends that have broken their foot and it's SUCH a bummer! I see this was written a month or so ago....hopefully in the time since, you are back out there movin anda groovin to your hearts content!
ReplyDeleteBe well, Connie, you are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLove you. Miss you. Where are you? How are you? Please update. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteI'm sending energy out to the universe to bring you back from wherever you are and wherever you have been. You are on my mind, my dear friend. Much has happened since we last connected. You're always in my heart. If you need me, I'm here. With love, MW
ReplyDelete